morning ten

I ran ten this morning, and my hamstring felt fine, even if it was a little sore. It was very cold and windy. I was out of bed at 5:20, an hour earlier than my alarm. I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep because I was worrying about some things: the progress of my dissertation, mainly, its endlessness and its utter lack of import to the world. I hope it matters to scholars. Mattering is crucial for being happy, and sometimes I wish the work I did mattered on a bigger scale. While I get endless pleasure from my research, curiosity is starting to seem a little too hedonic and self-involved. I wouldn't be an academic unless I thought ideas mattered, that poets were the legislators of the world; I wouldn't be a good academic without the skepticism that leads me to think only some ideas of a very high quality matter; I wouldn't be a typical academic unless I doubted my ability to produce them.

This week, regular running resumes. I'm not training for anything, just doing maintenance mileage, which for me hovers around 70 miles/wk. This will take the form of 8-12 miles each morning. If I have full confidence in my hamstring and full confidence that my body has adapted to the cold, I'll start speed work next week. My goal for the next few months is leg speed, perhaps attained through heavy interval work.