Losing time

This morning I left for my run at 6:30 as it was getting light. I ended at 7:40 in full daylight. I ran ten at an easy aerobic pace looping through neighborhoods. I often forget how much activity there is by 6:30, how many commuters, runners, dog walkers. It's 4:30 now and the sun is already setting on the ten hours of daylight we've had. I haven't even showered yet. I've been revising all day, without much success, racing as I always do against Decemeber and the end of the year, when everything and all the days feel frantic and abbreviated. Part of me wants to get up earlier and earlier and start sooner and sooner, part of me wants to give up, make a beef stew and open a bottle of wine and just relax after sunset. I agree with my wife's thought that our society doesn't accommodate winter moods, this feeling of slowness and loss of control that's sometimes sadness and anxiety and sometimes peace.