Friday, June 14, 2013

Running writing isn't limitless

So, I haven't posted in about a year and a half, a hiatus in which a lot has happened lifewise. My life has been a little too unstructured and unpredictable to put a big marathon on the calendar, a kink in the normal rhythm of training. I run a lot, but lately more as devotion to the fitness I've gained over the years. It's a way to tend something precious through a period of dormition, like covering roses in the winter.

Neither is running an inexhaustiable topic, and after I read Murakami's book on running, I felt like he had had the last word. Murakami taught me something valuable about the limits of writing about running, that running is best written about as running--not as metaphor for anything else. After all, running itself is hugely interesting topic, at least for a while.

But running is a social and economic activity in addition to being a sport, so it inevitably intersects with and provides relays into other precincts of concern. I've been thinking about what relation we have to the data we generate in our daily activities, and feeling exploited by those who make money from it. For reasons unrelated to my suspicion, I've stopped running with a Garmin, mostly because I don't care all that much about the exact mileage I've traversed, I know my own body well enough to know how far I've gone in a given duration, and I know the lengths of my routes.

But the Garmin, and various other fitness tracking tools are test cases that raise an important question about the nature of our relationship to facts recorded about our daily activities. If I run 10 miles in 67 minutes over a given course in a given zipcode, what kind of relationship do I have with that information? Its ostensible purpose is to gauge fitness, and provide a record to help me get better at a hobby: running. But what other kinds of relationships do I have with that data? Do I own it? Is property even a useful concept for thinking of the data we generate? Do we make data or "generate" it? Do we have a "right" to it? Can I keep others from profiting from it?

Google and the others have found ways to exploit a resource that wasn't possible a generation ago: the data we create, make, or generate in daily living. Obviously, this data wouldn't exist without the technologies to capture it, and some would argue, perhaps not entirely cynically, that mining data from humans is like mining minerals from the earth, that harvesting the patterns of our behavior is no different than harvesting wheat or corn, and that in each activity labor consists in the act of extraction, and to the extractor go the rights of property. But to carry that analogy further, harvesting a human product instrumentalizes our bodies and our behaviors (of which a human self could be said to be the sum), and is therefore qualitatively different.

The recent NSA/Google/Facebook collusions have embarrassed the techno-utopianism that drives the rhetoric of "sharing" and "connecting" and have again raised the question of privacy, something now less a value than simply a technical problem, the degree of difficulty of connecting a SSN-linked name with a set of data points. But privacy is only part of the issue, and as a number of people have pointed out in recent days, no one is naive anymore about the implicit contract we make when we go online, that we trade the risk of exposure (of connecting the data we generate to our names) for the various forms of convenience that the Internet provides.

The other problem, though, is the way the data that emerges from our actions and our bodies is used and monetized. It's a new problem seldom discussed, and unlike privacy, lacks clear precedent. The fact that data arising from our activities is used to someone else's gain angers me, and to better articulate the injustice of this, we need to figure out what exactly our relationship to the metrics/data we generate (?) might be, and if it is a proprietary one, come to a better understanding of how to articulate a defense of that relationship.

More, hopefully, next time, about ways to defend the proprietary nature of our data--data that to exist requires a novel combination of bodies, wills, and activities with technological tools. For now, I think that if  data needs both these ingredients to come into being, then no one party should be sole beneficiary.


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

8 x 400

I did 8 x 400 this afternoon, not too much but just enough, down from 85 seconds at the start to 75 to finish the last two.  What's really helping my speed lately is to finish each run with exercises like side-to-side shuffles and karaokes that work my hip flexors, in addition to doing leg-lift-type ab exercises: I hang from a tree branch and raise my knees to my chest, in lieu of a gym.  I use nature's gym instead.
Here's a great video of Fugazi performing in 1991.  What a great thrash band, what a captivating performance.  I love the way this video captures the intimacy of the performance and underscores the energy of college rock with the inadvertent campus buildings in the mise-en-scene.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzC0RNkBXM0&feature=related

Now, the great unanswered question of this blog remains: is running a psychic pathology?  It's unbelievable how when you're deep into something, be it a hobby or an academic subject, you forget that not everyone in the world shares your passions, which happen to be--let's confess it--those for which moderation is actually a hinderance.  Academics moderate in their reading habits and measured in their writing are ignorant and unproductive; runners too habitually moderate in their training (as determined by the standards of a world that sees running as exercise and a means to an end) don't improve.

Monday, January 9, 2012

life writing

I've taken tentative steps toward beginning a 34-week long online retreat based on S. Ignatius' Spiritual Exercises.  A day into it, I'm struck by how convenient and well-structured, how much like exercise, it actually is.  One thing I dislike intensely about Mass about is the length of it, the flatulent hymns with Wesleylan lyrics hooked to clunky Germanic tunes that stretch a liturgy to 70 minutes or so, about a half hour beyond its most suitable tautness.  Like a good coat, Mass shouldn't be baggy.  But I digress, and I hear the still voice inside saying I run 70 minutes or so nearly every day so why can't I just give 70 minutes for God and so on--nonetheless after 40 minutes Mass becomes performance and I find it humiliating to sit through any performance, to be forced against my will to watch and indulge.  Monks in high school said Mass with an intensity and brevity that were reassuring; there was nothing recherche or otherworldly like a musical about it, just spirituality immanent. 

The Jesuit Spiritual Exercises have a happy precision and system to them that befits S. Ignatius' soldierly bearing.  I like them because they introduce a sytematic way to interpret yourself; reflecting on myself I feel like I'm leading a class through a text with a specific set of questions that opens it up in a logical and productive, though never exhaustive, way. The first exercise is deceptively simple: think of your first memory.  This should be easy, should, we expect, bring forth a welter of vague sensory images and affects, visual mainly; maybe confusion between what we've been told and seen in pictures and what we actually experience.  Fine.  I don't know what my first memory is - I don't know whether it's something I saw in a home movie or something I experienced, just vague images of a street and a tree, no associations to place it chronologically.  It is, I nevertheless know, a good memory. 

And here's where the Exercises surprise you, opening up huge hermeneutic problems with a simple question. If the first memory is good, why is it that?  who made it so?  What does that say about the accidents of my birth, or those to whom it's been my good fortune to have been born?  What are my first unpleasant memories, and what feelings, precisely, are they composed of? Are those feelings familiar and persistant, running through channels in my personality that I should be aware of?

The exercise aspects of the Exercises endear them to me, requiring as they do deliberateness, devotion, doggedness, digging down spadeful by spadeful to tap wellsprings of an improved relationship with God and with others and with yourself.  Inspiration is achieved.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

out of shape

It's nearly two months since the fall marathon I ran and I've let myself get into slow and tubby (for a runner) condition. I let the diet go right after the race but kept up as much running as I could; then when it got cold in November I tweaked my quad and didn't run for a week, took it easy when I started up again and haven't been training hard since; then there was Thanksgiving. Eight pounds tell the tale. It's not muscle mass. I went to the gym to lift weights in order to rehab the quad--but that was only three times, the last time in the gym two weeks ago.I knew this would happen and I let it happen and was welcoming it during training last fall and summer, but now I know for a spring marathon I soon have to start cutting out the junk food. 

Thursday, November 3, 2011

wallet photos

Does anyone carry wallet-sized phots any more?  Or is this practice becoming obsolete?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

elegy for my fitness

Post marathon, I feel my fitness waning day by day - went for a run this afternoon and felt sluggish and winded and even uncoordinated.  But that's OK. 

I love the week leading up to the NYC marathon because of all the running coverage in both the NYT and the WSJ.  Never is marathoning more visible.

Friday, October 28, 2011

More on Dewey

In "The Psychology of Effort" Dewey quotes a man trying to make a decision.  The man says, "In deciding a question that had to be settled in five minutes, I found myself turned in the chair, til I was sitting on its edge, with the left arm on the back of the chair, hand clenched so tightly that the marks of the nails were left int eh palm, breaking so rapid that it was oppressive, winking rapid, jaws clenched, leaning far forward and supporting my head by the right hand.  The question was whether I should go to the city that day." 

The point is that mental activity takes a physical toll.  Pragmatists are obsessed with moments of indecision (they're the only intellectuals who are embarassed by the traits of intellectuals) and the psychic havoc they wreak.  Thus William James will counsel readers to cultivate habits--make as few decisions as possible, waste as little willpower.  I've been writing twelve to fourteen hours a day for a month or so, cranking out the lingua franca of professional academia...and so "The Psychology of Effort" is my go-to text to know that it's OK to be tired by all this, that writing is real work, that every word, in fact, is a decision, and decisions take effort, and effort makes you tired.  I write a lot on this blog about the moments when the run becomes doubtful, when I contemplating skipping--sometimes I skip and am glad, other times I don't skip.  I had a workout of 5x1mi planned for this afternoon, but then I decided to go on a short run instead.  The short run turned into a lovely 80 minute amble in the waning light of the first brisk day of the fall--which appears to be the lovely prelude to a snowstorm.  I never get bored running and I wonder where the 80 minutes go.  It's a strange ecstatic state.  Well, better capitalize on this euphoria and see how much editing I can get through ...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Debt

Great movie--go see it.  suspensful, satisfying, morally complex tale of hunting Nazis--told through in a style that's more or less a horror film.